mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
