There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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