You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
