I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
