All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
