Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My friends, they love my intelligence
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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