Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize