well I can't set my house on fire every night
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
