Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
