you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
