If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You are the jesus of drinking
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize