can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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