it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
