How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
