your thong is hanging out like whoa
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
