quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize