Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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