can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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