i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
