I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
