A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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