I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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