matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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