I want to have your abortion
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
