he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just google imaged poop.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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