I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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