2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
