I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
