Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
