Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
