it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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