I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
