well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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