I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
