He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
