Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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