I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
this is an emotional support booty call
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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