ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
