I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize