just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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