Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
