also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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