How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
