Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize