I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize