why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
