You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
