i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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