Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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