I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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