dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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