Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
