One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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