WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
