you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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