since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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