i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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