I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
