i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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