My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
