clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
