i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
